Monday, November 19, 2007

Monster in the mirror

I've been alone a lot lately since I've been a little more on the "leave me alone" kick than wanting to be out about the town.

With this alone time I've had so chances to ponder a few things, one being how hypocritical I can be. To be honest, all of us, but this is more about me now.

How did I get this way? How can I change? Or maybe a better question is, can anyone actually live a life without Hypocrisy?

I challenge that thought and say it simply can not be done. We have created a life that is so large and out of control, that Hypocrisy is exists everywhere within it and us.

Are you pro-life? If yes, should a person who murders a mother and unborn child be charged with double homicide? If yes, then aren't we admitting that the unborn is more than it really is by giving it the same protections as a "viable" person?

Do you speed? Even by 1 mph over the limit? Then how are you different than the person going a little faster? In the eyes of the law, it's being broken equally.

But more than those stupid questions above, I continually find myself in a state or prejudice. Not like the "racist" prejudice that so many associate the word with, but the real meaning of the word that I prejudge, period. I've been trying hard not too, but I can't seem to control my thoughts sometimes.

The other day at Ukrops I saw a lady, definitely over weight. Not by 10, 15, 20, or 50lbs, but by 100-150lbs, and she was picking up some lactate free milk. Well, more like 5gals of the stuff and my first thought was "Lady, that milk is the least of your worries". I felt horrible about it and made myself apologize, well in my own head. Just then the lady walked right into Lisa with her cart. She completely saw Lisa standing there and made no effort to avoid her, then walked by like nothing happened. No sorry, not even a glance as to show visual remorse. So I fell back int o my first train of thought and was like "fat bitch, I hope you gain another 100lbs drinking all that milk."

When I sit back and type this and think about how I want to treat people, I wonder how can I get there? I've always said "treat others like you want to be treated", but that seems to be more a "feel good" approach to a isolated situation than a life motto.

I can rest only on the upside that face-to-face, I give everyone a fair shot to impress, based on the situation anyway. But that doesn't make me feel much better since on a superficial level that so many of us meet on a daily basis, I am a bit of a bastard.

Back to the main part of this blog though, I think laws are the largest area of concern for hypocrisy since so many of us live to see folks who wrong be punished; that is until we are the one who wrongs.

And lets face it, with all the laws on the books, I am sure that 99% of us break no fewer that 2-3 laws a day, if not closer to 5 or 10. Sure they may be on different levels of wrongs, or someone may have a good excuse, but isn't that the Hypocrisy?

Thinking that it was Okay for you because you had a reason, while you are sure that the others didn't. Does an excuse really excuse?

Sorry about the ramblings, I am just trying to create some weary eyes so I can finally get to sleep.

I have seen my ways and this post is my attempt to make some formal changes to right my ship before it sinks.

In today's world so many think that success is a matter of happiness or money, but maybe it's also or more to do with leaving the world as we can into it.

Excited, inviting, and innocent.

A toast to being less worried about others and they should "fit in" and more worried about not worrying about life's superficially assigned status's.