Monday, April 02, 2007

Inner demons.

A little more than 1/2 way through the semester and I am struggling with my drive to finish up in school. Despite my grades, my approach, or my attitude; (all which seem to be good) Each day that passes I find myself struggling to want to even care.

I have all but used up my own desire to finish up school, so I use excuses like my family or my wife as a source of inspiration. It works ok for a few moments, almost like a hearing a "cheer" at the opening of a scoreless high school football game even though you know your team hasn't won in months. You think maybe, just maybe, but nothing!

Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I am lazy, because I am far from it. In fact I dream of the day that I work again. At this point, I really desire a blue collar job. I like being dirty and love the feeling of accomplish that you simply can't get from typing on a computer or faxing a sheet of paper.